NFL Week 9: Niner Noise straight-up picks for each contest

KANSAS CITY, MO - SEPTEMBER 15: Dwayne Harris #17 attempts to block out Brandon Flowers #24 of the Kansas City Chiefs as DeMarco Murray #29 of the Dallas Cowboys runs down the sideline in the fourth quarter on September 15, 2013 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Kyle Rivas/Getty Images)
KANSAS CITY, MO - SEPTEMBER 15: Dwayne Harris #17 attempts to block out Brandon Flowers #24 of the Kansas City Chiefs as DeMarco Murray #29 of the Dallas Cowboys runs down the sideline in the fourth quarter on September 15, 2013 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Kyle Rivas/Getty Images) /
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Niner Noise takes a look at NFL matchups for Week 9 and dishes out our picks, which are usually wrong. Regardless, here they are!

It’s a good thing you don’t use Niner Noise’s weekly pick-em predictions to determine your NFL matchups you’d want to bet on.

Nevertheless, we sure have fun taking a look at upcoming games and determining which teams win and why. And while there have been more than a few shockers, we’ve occasionally hit on a few successes.

Like, seriously. We told you the San Francisco 49ers were going to lose badly on the road to the Philadelphia Eagles. Points for us there!

San Francisco 49ers
San Francisco 49ers /

San Francisco 49ers

Week 9 has some interesting NFL matchups for sure. With Chicago, Cleveland, the Los Angeles Chargers, Minnesota, New England and Pittsburgh all on the bye week, let’s focus on the remaining games and take a stab at the victors.

Bills 27, Jets 14

The Bills upgraded at wide receiver by adding Kelvin Benjamin at the trade deadline. He’ll help out quarterback Tyrod Taylor a lot, and running back LeSean McCoy should run wild.

The Jets are tougher than expected, but there’s no way they can compete with what has turned out to be a solid Buffalo defense.

Ravens 19, Titans 14

Quarterback Joe Flacco (concussion) is listed as probable, although he’s not exactly the biggest difference maker at this point in his career. If the Ravens win this game, it’s going to be because of their defense. The Titans have the offensive weapons, they just haven’t clicked this season.

Eagles 28, Broncos 10

So you’re saying Trevor Siemian isn’t a starting-caliber quarterback? Who knew?

That’s right, Brock Osweiler is slated to start for the Broncos, and that means the 7-1 Eagles — who just added running back Jay Ajayi, by the way — shouldn’t have any trouble clamping down on the underachieving quarterback.

Denver’s defense keeps this game interesting for a while, but it will tire out after halftime.

Rams 24, Giants 17

The Rams are coming off their bye week, and the Giants are terrible.

Still, this game might end up being closer than one may think. Cross-country trips for West Coast teams are never easy, and New York’s defense isn’t as terrible as one might think.

L.A. wins, though, and the G-Men’s nightmare of a season continues.

Saints 35, Buccaneers 21

The Buccaneers are 30th in the league against the pass, and they get to face Drew Brees and the potent Saints offense in Week 9. That should make Brees fantasy owners happy.

NEW ORLEANS, LA – OCTOBER 05: Drew Brees #9 of the New Orleans Saints throws a pass against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome on October 5, 2014 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
NEW ORLEANS, LA – OCTOBER 05: Drew Brees #9 of the New Orleans Saints throws a pass against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome on October 5, 2014 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images) /

It’s also weird to think New Orleans, at 5-2, actually has a pretty good defense. And with Tampa Bay’s offense not in rhythm this season, there’s only one way this game can go.

Jaguars 21, Bengals 17

Jacksonville’s defense is elite. And while we’ve seen some up-and-down moments from Andy Dalton and the Bengals offense, a road contest against the Jaguars is the last thing to get Cincinnati’s offense into shape.

Texans 30, Colts 13

The Texans have three things in their favor to make this a blowout. First, they’re coming off a tough, narrow 41-38 road loss to the Seahawks, providing some angry motivation. Second, the Houston Astros just won the World Series. And lastly, rookie quarterback Deshaun Watson is playing way above the best of expectations.

Meanwhile, the only thing making the Colts relevant are ongoing questions about injured quarterback Andrew Luck’s shoulder and when, if ever, he’ll return.

Panthers 24, Falcons 21

Both the Panthers and Falcons have had up-and-down seasons thus far, marked by inconsistent quarterback play and, at times, scuffling offenses.

This is probably a toss-up game, but since it’s at Carolina, let’s give the edge to Cam Newton and Co.

49ers 19, Cardinals 14

Oh, what a quarterback battle to watch — C.J. Beathard versus Drew Stanton.

The Niners traded for Jimmy Garoppolo before the deadline, but he won’t start right away. That means more of Beathard and his lack of pocket awareness behind a banged-up 49ers offensive line. Let’s hope he makes some plays or at least allows Carlos Hyde to run, run, run against the Cardinals defense.

GLENDALE, AZ – OCTOBER 01: Defensive tackle DeForest Buckner #99 of the San Francisco 49ers hits quarterback Carson Palmer #3 of the Arizona Cardinals during the second half of the NFL game at the University of Phoenix Stadium on October 1, 2017 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images)
GLENDALE, AZ – OCTOBER 01: Defensive tackle DeForest Buckner #99 of the San Francisco 49ers hits quarterback Carson Palmer #3 of the Arizona Cardinals during the second half of the NFL game at the University of Phoenix Stadium on October 1, 2017 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images) /

But remember, Arizona has a terrible O-line too. San Francisco sacked Cardinals quarterback Carson Palmer six times when these two teams met earlier this season. Palmer is out with a broken arm, so it’s Stanton’s turn to feel the brunt of the Niners defensive line.

Low-scoring affair here.

Seahawks 27, Redskins 13

The Seahawks upgraded their woeful O-line by adding left tackle Duane Brown prior to the deadline. That will help, although it’s doubtful Seattle drops another 41 points at home in consecutive weeks.

Regardless, the Seahawks defense reinforces the notion Redskins quarterback Kirk Cousins isn’t equipped for big-game pressure. This should be a lopsided affair, and the score makes it sound closer than the game actually will be.

Chiefs 24, Cowboys 21

This game has the makings of a classic, except for the fact the Cowboys will be without running back Ezekiel Elliott (suspension).

Not sure if we should cross off the Cowboys just yet, but this certainly gives a major edge to the Chiefs, who are coming off an offensively woeful effort last week against the Broncos. Dallas’ defense is better than we might have thought, though, so this Week 9 showdown could still be pretty good to watch.

Raiders 25, Dolphins 14

The Dolphins were blanked by the Ravens 40-0 on Thursday Night Football last week and the team traded away its best offensive asset, Jay Ajayi.

Miami’s mini bye week should help, but one should probably expect the Raiders offense to find a bit of headway during this contest. Oakland has been disappointing as well, but there’s not much to worry about, defensively, from the Raiders’ vantage point.

Can we switch this game out from Sunday Night Football for the Chiefs and Cowboys, please?

More from Niner Noise

Lions 24, Packers 10

This game could be fun if the Packers had Aaron Rodgers (collarbone) under center. But they don’t, and the Lions have a pretty obvious advantage.

Detroit, losers of three in a row, is slumping quite a bit. Yet this prime-time showdown on Monday Night Football presents a great opportunity for the Lions to get back in the division hunt, as they won’t have to worry about facing Rodgers.

Unless backup QB Brett Hundley scares you.

Next: NFL power rankings: Eagles remain high entering Week 9

What are your picks? Please let us know on the comments section or interact with us on Twitter — @SFNinerNoise.