NFL Week 8: Team-by-team straight-up picks around the league

Niner Noise dishes out picks around the NFL for Week 8’s action. And no, the San Francisco 49ers aren’t among the predicted winners.

It’s crazy to think we’re almost halfway through the 2017 NFL season.

With Week 8 upon us, the San Francisco 49ers are still seeking their first win of the year. And it’s probably not going to happen against the 6-1 Philadelphia Eagles. More on that later, though.

Week 8 also marks byes for the following teams: Arizona, Green Bay, Jacksonville, Los Angeles Rams, New York Giants and Tennessee.

San Francisco 49ers /

San Francisco 49ers

As our friendly disclaimer goes, don’t go betting on any of these contests. Like, seriously. Don’t do it. Just be entertained by it, because you shouldn’t trust the speculation here. The NFL has already been too weird this season.

Let’s kick things off with a Thursday Night Football matchup between the Miami Dolphins and Baltimore Ravens, shall we?

Dolphins 24, Ravens 10

Last week’s Thursday night game between the Raiders and Chiefs was exciting. Tonight’s between Miami and Baltimore won’t be as much. Dolphins quarterback Jay Cutler (ribs) isn’t expected to play, but that might actually be a good thing for the offense.

It doesn’t help Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco has been terrible this year. Dolphins pull this one off.

Vikings 35, Browns 17

The Vikings and Browns head to England and, once again, the British will be treated to bad football.

Despite starting Case Keenum at quarterback, the Vikings have figured out a way to get to 5-2, primarily using their top-notch defense. This will make a long day for the Browns’ inept offense, and Cleveland won’t have their promising rookie defensive stud, Myles Garrett (concussion), which makes things even worse for the Browns.

Patriots 27, Chargers 21

The Chargers have been feisty this season and may have shocked a few teams. But the Patriots appear back on track after three straight wins, allowing an average of just 12.7 points during that stretch.

Saints 30, Bears 21

New Orleans found its offensive stride the last two weeks, and Chicago quarterback Mitchell Trubisky is going to have to complete more than four passes in this contest to keep his team in the game.

The Bears defense is good this year, but Saints quarterback Drew Brees shouldn’t have any trouble there.

Panthers 28, Buccaneers 16

We’ve been waiting for the Bucs to get things going on offense all season, despite a plethora of talented weapons. It hasn’t happened yet.

Meanwhile, Tampa Bay’s defense has given up the third-most yardage in the NFL this season (2,451), which provides quarterback Cam Newton and the Panthers a chance to figure out their own offensive shortcomings.

Bengals 21, Colts 10

The Bengals are bad, the Colts are worse. Enough said.

Raiders 27, Bills 21

This is a tough game to call, as the Bills defense has been good this year, especially at home. But Oakland’s offense finally found its stride last week against Kansas City, and it should also benefit quarterback Derek Carr and Co. to have a mini bye week, having played Thursday night in Week 7.

Please keep it up, Amari Cooper.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – OCTOBER 23: Carson Wentz #11of the Philadelphia Eagles leaves the field after the Eagles’ 34-24 win against the Washington Redskins at Lincoln Financial Field on October 23, 2017 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Abbie Parr/Getty Images) /

Eagles 35, 49ers 17

If the 49ers play angry and focused, they make things interesting. If not, the Niners get blown out like they did against the Cowboys last week. Meanwhile, the Eagles shouldn’t have any trouble riding quarterback Carson Wentz to another dominant victory.

Falcons 24, Jets 14

New York has turned some heads this season, but the team isn’t anywhere on par with what Atlanta can do, offensively.

The Falcons are coming off three-straight woefully inadequate offensive performances, but look for a problematic Jets defense to provide the opportunity to bounce back.

Seahawks 18, Texans 13

Seattle’s offense has been up and down all season, but its defense still remains one of the best in the NFL. Granted, Houston can say the same thing.

Rookie quarterback Deshaun Watson is having a stellar year under center, but winning this game on the road at CenturyLink Field is another story. The Seahawks pull off this defense-first challenge at home.

Cowboys 27, Redskins 17

Dallas’ offense manhandled San Francisco last week, which should give quarterback Dak Prescott and Co. enough momentum to go to Washington and take on the Redskins in this key NFC East showdown.

The Cowboys have figured out their pass rush too, which spells problems for quarterback Kirk Cousins.

Steelers 25, Lions 14

The Steelers have finally figured out their offensive woes, and it’s great to see running back Le’Veon Bell take over like he did a year ago. Surprisingly, though, it’s the Pittsburgh defense making huge strides this season. The Steelers have allowed the second fewest yards in the NFL this season (1,811), which doesn’t spell good news for a Lions team having lost three of its last four contests.

Chiefs 27, Broncos 14

Kansas City is coming off two close losses and has suddenly fallen away from being considered the best the NFL has to offer this season. At home against their division rivals, the Broncos, the Chiefs should have a sense of urgency to retain AFC West dominance.

Denver’s defense should be a problem early on, but it’s the offense that will have issues moving the ball.

Next: NFL power rankings, Week 8: Eagles sitting pretty at No. 1

Kansas City starts to run away with the game after halftime.