Niner Noise
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Why Fantasy Football Is both Stupid and Awesome at the Same Time

By Peter Panacy

May 11, 2016; Las Vegas, NV, USA; General view of NFL shield logo helmet at the "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign on the Las Vegas strip on Las Vegas Blvd. Raiders owner Mark Davis (not pictured) has pledged $500 million toward building a 65,000-seat domed stadium in Las Vegas at a total cost of $1.4 billion. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell (not pictured) said Davis can explore his options in Las Vegas but would require 24 of 32 owners to approve the move. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
May 11, 2016; Las Vegas, NV, USA; General view of NFL shield logo helmet at the "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign on the Las Vegas strip on Las Vegas Blvd. Raiders owner Mark Davis (not pictured) has pledged $500 million toward building a 65,000-seat domed stadium in Las Vegas at a total cost of $1.4 billion. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell (not pictured) said Davis can explore his options in Las Vegas but would require 24 of 32 owners to approve the move. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports /
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If you’re an NFL fan, chances are you’ve delved into the world of fantasy football at some point or another. And while none of us will ever hold the rank of NFL general manager, our make-believe GM roles leave us with the feeling of accomplishment, failure, excitement and whatever other emotions that make fantasy sports both ridiculous and amazing all at once.

I was in bed with a beautiful woman on a Sunday morning in August a number of years back. Keeping this PG-13, my night was great. The morning after could have been as well.

“On Twitter, I found hundreds just like me: awash in the statistical minutia of a game that challenges its players to compose a lineup that will score more fake points than their opponents’ fake players, willing to put in any amount of research to find an advantage over their opponents.” – C.D. Carter, The Fifth Down

Instead, I had to get up and get ready. “Sorry,” I said. “I can’t stay. I’ve got a fantasy football draft to attend.”

Needless to say, my then-girlfriend wasn’t too impressed. She knew I liked sports and all, and I was going to see her later that night anyway, but I certainly felt a level of “dorkdum” I hadn’t experienced since I was probably in middle school.

OK, enough of my pre-marriage youthful days.

Seriously, fantasy football is both awesome and stupid at the same time. It’s a conundrum of both — combining sports passion and a way to learn more about the game with a total absence of reality.

Fans of the game come together to play fantasy general manager, hold fantasy drafts where they hope to grab the best players in a round-by-round format and try to beat other fantasy owners who have done the exact same thing.

But it doesn’t end there. Over the course of an entire NFL season, fantasy owners continue to pour over hours of waiver-wire numbers, projections and stat lines trying to keep their team on top, or away from the bottom, of a fantasy league.

Wrote C.D. Carter of the New York Times‘ Fifth Down blog:

"I don’t watch playoff games. I don’t care who wins the Super Bowl. I have loyalty to no one but myself and my pretend roster of random players from across the league. I can’t recall the agony of emotional investment in a real team – the ability to feel that joy and pain has long left me, crowded out by fantasy obsession.There is no joy, only anxiety, only pain, only disappointment. When I win a fantasy game, I’m only happy not to lose. When I lose, I’m crushed.On Twitter, I found hundreds just like me: awash in the statistical minutia of a game that challenges its players to compose a lineup that will score more fake points than their opponents’ fake players, willing to put in any amount of research to find an advantage over their opponents."

He’s not alone. According to the New York Post, nearly 75 million people played fantasy football a year ago. That’s nearly what, 25 percent of the United States population?

For some fun, check out this post on Bleacher Report for signs you might be way too addicted to fantasy football.

OK, enough with the stats and quotes. What makes fantasy sports so awesome and dumb at the same time?

Fantasy football is stupid because, well, how many hours have you wasted reading fantasy writers’ posts, projections, stat lines, matchups or watching video blogs from so-called “experts?” Couldn’t you, you know, actually have gone out and done something else productive?

Heck, I had more fun actually playing a pickup game of football at the local park with some buddies.

And were you one of those players who waited until zero-dark-thirty ET on Tuesdays when a new fantasy week started just so you could have first dibs on finding backups for players injured the previous week? Yeah, our non-waivers league had a guy who did that religiously. We hated him.

Fantasy is dumb because it’s just that, fantasy. And now, with all these one-day fantasy leagues and seemingly endless commercials we see during football season, it’s only going to grow.

Chances are, you’ll lose money on these leagues too. At least I did. A lot of it.

But at the same time, fantasy football is freaking awesome.

Let’s face it, you’ll never be an NFL player (unless you actually are or are projected to be). So this is about as close as you can get to actually having control over anything resembling a team. Unless Madden NFL is your thing.

Feb 3, 2016; San Francisco, CA, USA; Fans pose with No. 1 jerseys of the Oakland Raiders (left)and Arizona Cardinals (middle) and the Denver Broncos at the NFL draft exhibit at the NFL Experience at the Moscone Center. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 3, 2016; San Francisco, CA, USA; Fans pose with No. 1 jerseys of the Oakland Raiders (left)and Arizona Cardinals (middle) and the Denver Broncos at the NFL draft exhibit at the NFL Experience at the Moscone Center. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports /

You are forced to put your football IQ to the test, stay on top of every little thing happening around the league and, let’s face it, get a little lucky from time to time.

When I played religiously, fantasy football forced me to look deeper into the game than I ever had before. Long before I wrote about sports, I knew fantasy. I knew backups for each team at every position. I knew who was supposed to have great seasons, who was a risk and which matchups might be favorable on a week-to-week basis.

Fantasy forced me to be an even greater student of the game. And it did something few other things can do — brought a huge group of us guys and gals together for well over 16 weeks of fun-natured smack talk and competition.

Oh, and here’s a little secret for you. I got my sports-writing start because of fantasy.

I played in a league where owners could contribute front-page stories on the fantasy homepage, which was visible to each team in our little sports world.

My first sports-related articles were half joking, of course. Something like, “The Pork Chop Express was able to knock off Danny’s Die Hards in Week 8.” And, “A call to Bullet Bob’s Boys’ owner Bob Doe wasn’t immediately returned after his fantasy loss this week.”

Someone in the league eventually told me I should try writing about sports for real. Here I am.

And that’s awesome.

More from Niner Noise

I don’t play fantasy sports anymore. I found it taking up too much of my time — time I could spend elsewhere.

I’ve helped friends and family with some of their fantasy drafts, and I still write about fantasy from time to time. That’s my extent. And I wouldn’t trade going back to becoming a fantasy nut once again.

I had my reign. It was awesome and stupid at the same time.

Next: Early 2016 Stock Watch for 49ers Fantasy Options

All statistics, records and accolades courtesy of Pro-Football-Reference.com and Sports-Reference.com unless otherwise indicated.