No. 9: Jimmy Garoppolo is the second coming
An obvious one, but no less legitimate for how obvious it is.
Some outsiders mocked the 49ers for giving such an inexperienced starter such a hefty contract.
We mock them for their naivety.
49er fans all know the truth. Jimmy Garoppolo is the real deal. He’ll have a career so decorated, future Hall of Famer Tom Brady will bow in deference.
Also, if the rumors are believed, a single lock of his hair cures most poisons.
It also smells like apple pie and vanilla ice cream.